Goodnight Moon
27 Jan 2011 3 Comments
in Autism Tags: anxiety, Asperger syndrome, Autism spectrum, Books, Parent, special needs
It’s 10:13 pm and LB is finally asleep. Laying quietly next to me in my bed, she is so peaceful. Hard to believe the three hours prior to this moment were filled with worry, anxiety, fixations and restlessness. How I wish our evenings could be spent playing games, enjoying a family dinner, or quietly watching a television program together.
Instead, our evenings are on a constant replay. LB has continued fixations. She is scared to be alone in any room of the house. So, should she need a glass of water, have to go to the bathroom, or decides to get a book from her room, either her father or I are summoned. We’ve encouraged her to “do it yourself” and have told her “there is nothing to be afraid of” or as I say “you have to tell yourself you’re not afraid’. She worries that there is poison in her water, that her head might suddenly fall off, that something is in the bathtub as she’s bathing, that someone is living in our attic, the list goes on and on.
I will answer her questions repeatedly all evening, reassuring her, attempting to change the subject, or get her engrossed in an activity that might possibly change her mindset. Usually books help. As with a lot of Aspie kids, there are benefits to being passionate about something and obsessive. They can sit for hours and be completely absorbed in the activity. Books for LB are wonderful since she loves to read. Right now she is reading the American Girl books.
When we reassure LB or tell her “you are fine” it doesn’t change the persistent and constant thoughts in her head. Those are the words she listens to and nothing else. She is not influenced by anyone or anything else. Her thoughts and emotions are what guide her. We are just along for the ride. Making sure she stays in her lane, controlling her speed and hoping that eventually she’ll come to a stop. That is the point when her mind has a break in the thoughts, her body relaxes and she finally falls asleep.
Jan 27, 2011 @ 19:53:15
Wow… this is interesting. I was wondering if you were going to speak to the ritual of reading that particular book… It must be so exhausting to keep such attention and focus on such things. Thanks for sharing a glimpse into your world. xoxo
Jan 28, 2011 @ 21:22:58
Completely understand the fears. Our 6 yo is certain “monsters” will get her – and so even if we are a room away – wants us to follow her to the bathroom or her bedroom. It’s sporadic and so it has been a challenge to determine if we need help or not. Recent events though have lead us down a path that we go in for an evaluation next week. I don’t know yet what this will mean – but I view LB’s blog as a gift and am grateful that you are sharing it. Thank you.
May 15, 2011 @ 15:13:46
Sometimes all we can do, as parents, is be there for them… Be the rock in the storm that they cling to as their emotions whip through them. And that is just as important as anything else we do.